Things I Didn't Expect

Hello to all of my fellow camp counselors!

Through my time at camp, I've learned a great deal. However, over my two years as a counselor, I reached many challenges and experiences that I simply didn't see coming. In some cases I was warned, and didn't understand or grasp what I was being told. In other cases, what surprised me was either unique to my situation, or not explained. Either way, I was able to grow and learn from every new obstacle.

If you are a new counselor this summer, you may experience some of these, you may also not. You will experience something not on my list, because of course, every situation is different.

1. It really is hard
I know I was explained this a hundred times. I was told that it would be one of the hardest things I would do, and sometimes I would really not want to. There were days when I did not want to wake up campers, get out of bed, and go clean stalls. I didn't want to put on jeans when it was a hundred degrees. I didn't want to explain the rules of the riding arena for the thirtieth time that summer. I wanted to go home, get in my bed, and not work.

2. I could feel different ways about one staff member
This is worded kind of weirdly. In my personal life, there were several staff members who I loved. We had so much fun, they made me laugh, and I really enjoyed being their friend. At camp, I could not stand them. Something about how they worked, whether that be work ethic or their method with campers, disagreed with me. And that proved to be a real struggle, how to like and dislike someone at the same time.

3. I became alienated from my non-camp friends
I couldn't see them. They didn't understand why I was always tired when I was able to. My summer stories were less about the beach and parties and more about campfire songs and shorts tans. We weren't able to relate as easily. It went away over time, and I think we all had to adjust, and I found out who my real friends were. But it was hard.

4. I learned everyones names really quickly
I am so bad at names. And yet somehow, I knew everyone on our staff (about 40 of us) within four days. I don't know how it happened, I don't think I was actively trying to remember names, it somehow just fell into place. I'm sure our management had something to do with this... some secret strategy :)

5. My friends could also be my role models
This began to really happen my second summer, when three of my close friends were also head counselors. One of them was also my supervisor of sorts in the program area I led. It was a dynamic I hadn't really experienced before. I also looked up to other counselors who were my friends. It had challenges, but surprisingly, more benefits.

6. The summer always went by fast
It was training week, and then it was the last campfire. I was saying hello, and then I was sobbing goodbye. At the beginning, eleven weeks seemed so long, but it was gone in a blink of the eye.

7. My second summer was harder (socially) than my first
Again, my situation is highly different than others. But my first summer, despite being tumultuous for the staff as a whole, I had many close friends, great instant connections, even a boyfriend on staff. My second summer I felt withdrawn from the group as whole. I felt in between, not new, but not a head counselor, like most of the returning staff I was close with. Even though I was more comfortable in my role, it took me more time to make connections, and I don't think I made as many deep ones as my first summer.

8. There was nothing "magical" about my first summer
As I said, as a staff, we had a rough summer in 2011. We didn't necessarily "vibe" all that well, and it was quite a struggle. I think I came in with this idea that it would be this great experience with wonderful people and awesome cabins, and I would learn and grow and everything would be perfect. And while it was a great experience, and I did learn and grow, it was also really challenging, and there were many tough moments. I was stressed, confused, tired, and a million other emotions I never expected. However, I did it again, so what does that tell you? It was, on the whole, a great experience.

9. I liked some cabins more than others, and not for the reasons I expected
This really came into play my second summer, when I was given the opportunity to work with the age group I enjoy most, 13-15 year old girls. Although each week my campers were about the same age, there were some cabins I just worked better with. And it wasn't the best behaved cabins or the easiest, it was a personality and spirit that matched mine. I always thought I would love the cabins that went to bed when I asked, and were easy to wake up in the morning. And while I appreciate those things, GREATLY, some of my favorite cabins were more difficult.

10. I missed all of it
I miss every second of camp during the year. I miss dragging myself to breakfast in a zebra onesie and not brushing my hair. I miss standing in a dusty riding arena yelling "on the count of strawberry, we are going to do a circle!" I miss slumping up the hill to my program area, dragging my feet and dreading having to pull our vaulting horse out of her stall. I miss the staff, even sometimes the ones I didn't love. I miss singing songs at flag pole, even when it was 7:20 AM and I was half asleep. I miss being covered in food at kangaroo court, or making a fool of myself at campfire. I miss tuck-ins and bed time stories. I miss crying at the end of each week, knowing that that group of people would never be all together again. Mostly, I miss every camper, the loud ones, the quiet ones, the weird ones, the funny ones, the ones who are learning about themselves, the ones who think they know everything, every single one.

I hope you enjoyed it, and I would love to hear what surprised you.

You are amazing,
Samantha